Press 1 so we don’t have to talk to you

I was making phone calls the other day to some prospects and kept getting this (or some form of this) automated message:

“Thank you for calling so-and-so company. Press 1 for a company directory. If you know your party’s extension, enter it now. If you’re calling for _________, press 2. If you’d like __________, press 5. If you’re calling to _____________, call 6.”

Here’s the best part: After what seemed like an eternity and all this time-wasting, blood-curdling bullshit, I hear “If you’d like an operator, please stay on the line.”


Here’s how a caller hears it:

“If you were important to us, we’d answer the phone.”

“You’re not as important as you think you are.”

“We’re busy servicing clients we like.”

“We’re very busy. If you’re in a hurry, too bad.”

Here’s what it says it me: “Take your business to someone who cares because we don’t!”

If your company uses one of these ridiculous, insulting, client-losing automated phone systems then you deserve to be dragged down the road tied to a bumper! People that use these phone systems are the same numbskulls who get pissed when they call someone and have to deal with the same kind of phone system. Wake up, Einstein!

Until robots rule the Earth, consumers still like talking with people and being respected - especially when they’re a client. If they’re not a client, they would be if you’d just answer the damn phone! 

Want a fast way to build client loyalty and referrals? Get rid of the phone system, answer the phone, and be happy someone gives a crap enough to call your high-fallutin' entitled ass!!

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